What is a Gaslighting apology?

A gaslight apology is an apology given that often appears sincere but the person is actually not taking any responsibility for what they have caused.
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What does a gaslighting apology sound like?

Jamie Schenk DeWitt, a psychotherapist and marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles told Newsweek: "A gaslighting apology is a conditional apology that makes the person apologizing appear as if they are sincerely saying 'I am sorry,' but they aren't taking any responsibility for hurting you.
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What is gaslighting instead of apology?

Gaslighting, with its subtle and not-so-subtle tactics, can be a significant psychological stressor. Recognizing these tactics, like the disguised apology or blaming and shaming, is a crucial step in reclaiming your reality and mental wellbeing.
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What is an example of a manipulative apology?

A manipulative apology often includes phrases such as “I'm sorry, but…” or “I'm sorry you feel that way.” These types of apologies shift the blame onto the person who was wronged, rather than accepting full responsibility for their actions. It is important to recognize a manipulative apology and respond accordingly.
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What is an example of a passive aggressive apology?

Passive-aggressive apologies are also insincere and intended to make the recipient feel badly. An example of this is emphatically repeating, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” Coerced apologies or those that fulfill someone's expectations are not sincere. Transactional - “I apologized now, so it's your turn.”
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Narcissistic defensiveness vs. a REAL apology

What is the most passive-aggressive thing to say?

We collected the most used passive-aggressive sayings and created synonyms that are better to communicate with.
  • "You're too sensitive…." ...
  • "If that's what you want to do…." ...
  • "Well, If you like it…" ...
  • "Fine" ...
  • "No worries" ...
  • "Thanks in advance." ...
  • "I'm not mad" ...
  • "Whatever"
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What not to say when apologizing?

Don't use "butpologies" such as "I'm sorry, but I was having a miserable day," "I'm sorry but I didn't mean it," or "I'm sorry, but I'm not a racist."
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How does a narcissist apologize?

For example, a narcissist might offer an insincere apology to get something in return. They might apologize to make themselves out in a victim position or to repair the damage that's been done to their image. There are narcissists who don't apologize for their actions.
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What is a toxic apology?

Toxic people will often use a toxic apology to make themselves feel better about their mistakes and make the victim feel worse. Examples of toxic apologies. "I'm sorry you feel that way," said by someone who insulted you. "I apologize for being such a jerk," said by someone who was verbally abusive.
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What is an example of a narcissist apology?

Covert narcissist offers a pseudo-apology that takes the heat off them, allows them to avoid accountability, and ends with you comforting them.
  • I'm sorry I'm not who you want me to be.
  • I'm sorry I don't make you happy.
  • I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you.
  • I'm sorry I can't seem to do anything right.
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What do narcissists say during gaslighting?

Gaslighting. This manipulation tactic involves the abusive, narcissistic partner making the victim doubt their perception, memory, or sanity. When they are gaslighting someone, narcissists might say things like, “You're imagining things,” or “You're too sensitive.”
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What do you say to stop a gaslighter?

“It sounds like you are trying to confuse me about what happened. Why would you want to do that?” “I understand what you are saying happened, but that wasn't my experience” “I am not interested in arguing about what happened with you”
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Should you forgive someone for gaslighting you?

Forgiveness can occur in the context described above, but it is best to focus this on the one who acted wrongly, and that would be the partner who consistently engaged in gaslighting. Forgiving him may help the letter-writer to reduce resentment, gain more energy and focus, and move on well with her life.
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How does a gaslighter talk?

For example, they might say, “Now you are just confusing me,” or “I do not know what you are talking about.” Trivializing: This occurs when a person belittles or disregards how someone else feels. They may accuse them of being “too sensitive” or overreacting in response to valid and reasonable concerns.
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What is an emotionally manipulative apology?

The offending party doesn't genuinely admit they were wrong or express sorrow for their actions. Rather, they use the apology as a last resort to gain control or avoid further harm. For example, "I apologize if you think I did something wrong."
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How do gaslighters react when confronted?

To maintain control over their victims, a gaslighter will get defensive and find a way to manipulate you into believing you're at fault. For example, if you confront them about their inappropriate workplace behavior or jokes, they might turn it around on you by asking you why you're not resilient enough to take it.
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What is an empty apology?

An empty apology is somebody saying sorry because they feel they have to, not because they're genuinely sorry. People who offer empty apologies are often not sorry at all, and simply want the issue to go away with a minimum of fuss. A prominent example is saying something that somebody else takes offence to.
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What does a fake apology look like?

1. Fake apologies blame you or someone else besides the apologizer. Real apologies take personal responsibility. These apologies often begin with the classic "I am sorry if you were offended" or "I am sorry that you are upset." The person might as well say, "The problem is that you are too sensitive.
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Will a narcissist accept an apology?

Apologies are difficult for narcissists. They don't really understand the concept, because they don't experience remorse.
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Do narcissists like hugs?

So, do narcissists cuddle? The simple answer is that it depends on the person. Some narcissists like to cuddle. Others don't.
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What words not to say to a narcissist?

8 Things You Should Never Say to a Narcissist
  • Don't say, "It's not about you." ...
  • Don't say, "You're not listening." ...
  • Don't say, "Ina Garten did not get her lasagna recipe from you." ...
  • Don't say, "Do you think it might be your fault?" ...
  • Don't say, "You're being a bully." ...
  • Don't say, "Stop playing the victim."
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How do you outsmart a narcissist?

How to Outsmart a Narcissist
  1. Separate yourself from the person.
  2. Take time to heal.
  3. Take responsibility for your part in a conflict.
  4. React with empathy and respect.
  5. Remain calm and unaffected.
  6. Disengage from their conversations.
  7. Set and enforce clear boundaries.
  8. Keep your intentions and goals to yourself.
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When should you not be sorry?

If the error in question was out of your control, something other than a mistake, or caused by someone else, then you don't need to apologize. If you did make a mistake, then an apology may be warranted—but not always.
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Why is he ignoring me after I apologized?

Now there can be two reasons for doing that :- a) They are really really hurt and just can't accept your apology so soon. b) They just want you to feel guilty as for their happiness. They were looking for a chance to maintain a distance from you and now as you're at fault, they've got a good excuse to be away from you.
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When should you not say sorry?

If you don't think you are in the wrong and you have a clear conscience then don't apologize. But if you feel you've hurt someone by your actions or what you've said, then offer an apology. You should apologise if you have made a mistake or caused offence.
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