Friends who never reach out often do so due to personality (not big on texting), being overwhelmed/busy, insecurity about bothering you, or simply having different communication styles, but it can also signal they're going through tough times or the friendship has become one-sided; understanding their potential reasons while recognizing your own needs is key, and sometimes taking a step back is necessary to see if they reciprocate or if you need to adjust expectations.
If you already contact them plenty, but they never take the initiative to speak to you, you can speak to them about it. Don't do this with people you don't know that well, but if you're closer friends it's an option. It may not lead to the changes you'd like, but at least you'll know you tried.
The biggest red flags in a friendship involve a significant lack of reciprocity, disrespect for boundaries, and constant negativity or criticism, often seen when a friend only appears when they need something, puts you down, or refuses to take responsibility, making the relationship feel one-sided and draining rather than supportive. Other key signs include excessive jealousy, dishonesty, manipulative behavior, and a pattern of only talking about themselves.
The first stage of friendship occurs when two or more people first come into contact with each other. The next stage of friendship occurs while the people are casually acquainted with each other. The friendship changes from acquaintanceship to involvement. The final stage is intimate friendship.
Should you stay friends with someone who never initiates contact?
Why do friends go silent?
Silence is not always indifference or manipulation; it often reflects deeper emotional pain, fear, or overwhelm. Many people go quiet and stop reacting because of unresolved trauma, emotional suppression, fear of conflict, or long-standing communication patterns.
The 80/20 rule in friendships, based on the Pareto Principle, suggests that roughly 80% of the joy, support, and value in your social life comes from just 20% of your friends, while the other 20% of friends might take more energy or offer less fulfillment. It encourages focusing your limited time and emotional energy on those core, high-impact relationships that truly enrich you, rather than spreading yourself thin trying to maintain equal connections with everyone, leading to healthier, more meaningful bonds.
A different way of categorizing friendship is by applying “The Three C's”. There are three basic types of people with whom you interact: Constituents, Comrades, and Confidants.
You could start with something like, “You don't seem like yourself lately. Maybe it's just everything going on right now, but I wanted to check in and see if we could sit down and catch up.” Or, “Hey, I miss you. I feel like we haven't had a chance to hang out or talk like we normally do. When can we catch up?”
The 7-Year Rule of Friendship Is Real and Powerful Psychologists say if your friendship survives past 7 years, chances are… it's for life. 🧠📆 Why? By year seven, you've likely weathered enough career shifts, heartbreaks, and messy life changes to build serious trust and emotional resilience.
Women are socialized to prioritize harmony, making boundary-setting and conflict resolution difficult. Cultural expectations and gender norms cultivate intense, emotionally draining friendships for women. Platonic female friendships are just as important as romantic relationships, yet they are de-prioritized.
A new study suggests that both men and women continue to make lots of friends until the age of 25, but after this, it's claimed that friendships begin to fall away rapidly, with the decline continuing for the rest of our lives.
11 interactions – It takes about 11 casual meetups or conversations before someone feels like a friend. 3 months – Regular contact over three months helps trust and familiarity grow. 6 deep connections – Research shows that having six close friends significantly boosts wellbeing and reduces loneliness.
Signs a friendship is ending include consistent one-sided effort, feeling drained or anxious around them, lack of support/respect for boundaries, growing apart in values/interests, frequent conflict, or feeling unsafe to be your true self, often stemming from a shift where the relationship feels like a burden rather than a source of joy or nourishment. It's time to move on when you consistently feel depleted, ignored, or that the relationship is unbalanced, even after trying to communicate.
Friendship red flags include: When a friend insults you, belittles you, or downplays your achievements. A friend making everything all about themself and only coming to you when they need a favor. Being overly jealous of your achievement and other friendships.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse or manipulation in which the abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind. Typically, gaslighters are seeking to gain power and control over the other person, by distorting reality and forcing them to question their own judgment and intuition.
They could be busy or have forgotten to get back to you. The second time you try to reach out or make plans and they don't respond, take a mental note and wait a few days to a week. If you reach out a third time without a response, it may be time to stop trying. You could also be getting ghosted.
Your friend may be going through a challenging time, such as a personal loss, relationship issues, work-related stressors, or a significant life change.
True friendship is built on honesty and mutual growth. A friend who only praises you and never points out your flaws is not helping you improve or become your best self.
